Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Know When to Fold 'Em

Last night we arrived home from a quick vacation to Holden Beach.  It would probably make a much more fun story, had I taken pictures.  I was more consumed with the fishing, swimming, meals of seafood, wine, scotch, and planning a joint birthday celebration for my father-in-law and myself (which is themed around my current favorite food, a cuban sandwich).   I have no evidence other than some broken sand-dollar shells, some freckles, a life-long enemy in what I can only imagine is a 20 pound flounder, and this darling .gif.

We returned to a sick dog who puked until 5:30 in the morning, and then work-life.  Following an short day for students (lucky me), I had faculty meetings (less fortunate), I had to leave my productive late hours because of a power-outage (not sure how to count this one, as I was powering through a to-do list).

What this all brings me to is the break-down of space and time we create for ourselves.  Mine was so disrupted today that I don't know how to treat myself.  It brings me to the question of where do we stop planning and doing, and where do we start actually spending quiet time in our minds.

Many other things continued to disrupt the planned order of our day, and in that moment where I'm trying to bring it altogether, I needed to ask where it needs to stop.

I left work with a check-list for teaching and a list of chores for home.  Neither worked as the store lost power as well.  I navigated the in-between space, but ultimately I needed to stop.  My husband is unexpectedly working late, I'm cooking on a grill that was started too soon, and I had to stop doing work for the night.  Ben won't have cooked the dinner he planned, good meat will be cooked wrong, check-lists will be left undone.  And ultimately, none of it matters.

I am asking no sympathy for our plight.  I know people work and work and work, and work harder than me with so many fewer resources.  Tonight all I did was stop and go outside with a glass of wine and grill while I waited for my partner.

I'm just trying to navigate where we choose to stop, ask our brains to stop all of it's multi-tasking, ask our hearts to stop carrying our work.  Where do you take the time to just be at home?